Time is going by so quickly; I'm more than half way through my first placement. This is probably a good time to take a step back and reflect before the end. It'd be easy to just keep ploughing through day after day, then before I know it, it's time to move on to the next one.
I understand more now about what I'm supposed to do. In the beginning I was all over the place and it made it difficult for me to actually get stuff done. I wrote briefly here how pressured I felt to follow up every query. Could you look at this? Have you got a minute to check this? Can you prescribe this? Someone always wanting or needing something and at times it's really hard but I'm learning how to say no. Or at least push things off if they don't immediately need my attention. Sometimes I might not be the right person and I think I'm getting better at realising that.
I'm still unsure of myself though. I don't think that's uncommon but I know I frequently have the 'I don't know what I'm doing' sign waving around in my head. There's not a protocol for every situation so I have to use my judgement. It's harder for me than say the F2 because they have a year more experience than I do. I'm just trying to build that, day by day from basically nil. I sometimes wonder if I'm asking too many questions. Especially on the little things. Often times it's not clear what the answer is and I might need a bit of reassurance. I'm going to try use my judgement more and see where that takes me.
I'm getting better at working faster. Though I still have times where my brain feels like it's being deep fried with so many jobs to juggle at once. I lose the ability to talk coherently and order my words into a normal sentence. My thoughts are all jumbled up with me running up and down the ward trying to do several things at once, all the while keeping my eye on the clock because I don't want to have another late day.
I'm slowly getting through my assessments, ticking off what I'm required to do for this placement. It can be hard to pin people down and make sure they validate every form but so far I've been lucky and everyone has got back to me relatively quickly. I still feel awkward when I'm having to present to consultants or registrars. I'm banking on the idea that I will get better and more confident with time and experience.
2 months to go. I'm hoping I can try to get an audit or a quality improvement project done. Half of me thinks 'let me just get the job done and go home' and the other half knows it will be good to get something on my CV. It's the idea of adding a job on top of a my workload that's making me think twice. It's not the end of the world if I don't get it done. We'll see.